Tell your children: "If you don't go to University, you'll end up homeless"

I brought into this notion too and felt really threatened by the future instead of making choices on doing what I want now. I was told by my uncle choose a career that goes along the lines of lawyer, doctor, politics or engineer in order to have a stable/ secure job. Because at the end of the day, going to university is about finding a job market. I felt so pressured that whatever decision I made make it seems that it wasn’t good enough, that I need to do what is aligned with what society deemed as respectable. I dread so much when people asking me, so what do you want to be in the future, are you going to university? I always give the same scripted answer about what I want to do which is oh I’ll do this degree, or maybe this degree, ooh this degree interests me too. I can’t choose. So I’ll take a gap year, figure my plans out, the go to university.

Along the way, I’ve let numbers and grades defined me, so I thought since I am not where I should be, I’ll just work harder and harder in order to feel accepted or loved. I had this mentality that what I worth was measured by how productive I am, how successful I am, how financially secure I am.

Even though I love photography/painting, I felt so inadequate, almost wrong and selfish of me to do that. I thought that I should earn so much money and make my family happy, that once I get there, whatever it is, then I’ll be happy. My uncle told me that going to an art collage/ foundation year is for someone who doesn’t get good grades right? In the back of my mind I was like…yes that’s me. I felt so ashamed of myself, that no matter how hard I try, I seem to fall behind and I felt so inadequate. I compared my life to the people around me, and how they already know what they wanted to do. I wasn’t brave enough to really tell people what I want to do because I felt scared that they’ll think I’m stupid, a failure, somebody who is selfish, a person who should know better and do what society deems as acceptable.

I felt ashamed of myself for not staying true to who I am, and I slowly forgot who I was. I told myself, I’ll be a machine, I can work really long hours just to get that grade, just to feel appreciated by others around me. So that people can praise me rather than labelling me as lazy. I felt that I was defined by my grades, and those who work harder get really good grades. I felt exhausted, and it gives me a really realised what I do was almost the case of doing what other people want in order to get a good grade.

Even though I love the subjects I do, I felt that what I know is measured by my grade. And in my mind, I kept thinking, if an employee see this, would they think of me as lazy/ stupid? Would I be judged my grades, and if that’s the case, I felt really scared of others for not seeing me as who I am, what I stand for, and what I value.

I thought that I can add value if I go to university, if I can improve the economy. I felt used, lack freedom and almost suffocated to this idea. I put the pressure on myself because I wanted to feel accepted, but at what cost.

I felt unhappy because I know that if I was going to continue like this and put off my happiness and well being, I’ll later look back at my life and feel scared to realise realised…oh, this is what my life came to?

I agree that the attitude that university is right for everyone who is motivated/hard-working is bad, especially when coupled with looking down upon those who haven’t gone, even if they’re very driven. However I think you should avoid generalising too much from your own experience since it is really quite unusual. You get general skills in expressing yourself and in managing time, working on projects etc. from university that you already have, but many won’t.